Well folks, this is it. The last Fearless In 2014 post. I guess it’s needless to say that I failed miserably at this task, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop pushing my way through the fear that consumes … Continue reading
Last night I found a post that I identified with so well that it brought me to tears. I guess we all feel this way at some point in our lives. As writers, we dream of one day having one … Continue reading
One Thanksgiving morning,
I am going to wake up with you lying next to me.
It will be then that I will realize the true meaning of patience and all I have endured.
I will see the true beauty of grace and all He has shown me.
I will understand what it means to be thankful.
I will forever be eternally grateful.
There are going to be days when you don’t want to live anymore. There will be days when you get sick and tired of how you get treated that everything you do will seem worthless. There will be days when you want to quit. Everything.
You may not feel very fearless during the chaos, but it will pass.
At least, I’m hoping it will.
Fearless In 2014
The cold reminds me of all I lack.
showing me how worthless this life can be when you realize who will never be there for you.
a bold reminder of the cry for help.
a breathtaking sign that I am utterly alone.
I ask Him to take me.
I am no good here.
But He leaves me here,
wondering if there is more than this emptiness.
He always gets my hopes up until I fall again.
Then, He picks me up in the middle of the night and lets me sleep,
until I have to go through it again.
He’s at the foot of my bed,
watching over me.
This is what I have to believe.
That someone cares.
That it’s not that easy to let me go.
What others have shown us isn’t always as it shall be.
Sometimes the ones who leave were never meant to be….
…but what if now, there is no one?
Just me, myself and I,
alone with these destructive thoughts?
Remember when you were younger and you saw someone older on TV who displayed so much confidence? They were beautiful, sexy and everything you assumed you’d be once you hit a certain age. The media shows us at a young … Continue reading
It doesn’t get easier.
Eventually you just learn to endure it.
You figure out a way to be content without it.
You learn how to block it out and let all the reasons drown you.
It doesn’t get easier.
It just becomes more oppressive.
But you learn how to deal.
Swallow it down.
There’s nothing else you can do.
You just deal.
This place looks so different since the last time I was here,
or maybe I was just too dazed to notice anything but you.
Maybe our ghosts have been here the entire time.
Maybe they got their dance.
Maybe you felt the shock too,
and it illuminated the room.
And in November, only in November,
have my feet touched these floors.
In November, only in November,
have your eyes met mine,
your hand in mine.
I know you can’t promise to love me, but promise me you’ll try.
*stands up* Hi. I’m Tina. I’m 26 years-old and I still buy CDs. In fact, I buy music all the time. I’m that nerd that goes out early on release day and hunts down the albums I’ve been dying to … Continue reading
*For the next 20 days, I am challenging myself to write 20 posts on self-reflection, etc. Times are stressful and it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves and what/who we want to be and achieve. Brave enough to participate? Just follow along and send me your posts via the comments, a pingback, Twitter or Facebook. :)
Well folks, I did it! I completed the 20 Posts In 20 Days challenge! Honestly, I can’t believe I followed through with it. There were definitely days when I couldn’t find the inspiration to write anything worth reading, but I pushed through it and it taught me how to keep on writing even when I’m feeling uninspired. If you kept up with me, thank you! I hope something you read meant something to you.
As I end this personal challenge, I want to talk about something that’s been a reoccurring theme in my life lately. We all know someone who does stupid things. Whether it be just an innocent mistake or something that keeps playing out over and over again with the same turnout, it often makes me wonder why these people don’t learn from their mistakes first time around. Sometimes I feel like I have to babysit people who are old enough to take care of themselves and I’m tired of it. Grow up. Sometimes I feel as if I get treated like dirt because that’s how others view me. Apparently, I’m not worth an apology, a happy birthday, a helping hand, an “are you okay?,” or more importantly, the truth. When are people going to take responsibility for their actions and stop throwing the term “victim blaming” around?
If you don’t put in the effort to tell her you want her, don’t be surprised when she walks away. She deserves better.
If you don’t take matters into your own hands, don’t be surprised if you get something you’re not satisfied with…or nothing at all.
If you ignore someone who cares about you, don’t be surprised when your phone calls go unanswered. Karma’s a bitch.
If you continuously lie to someone, don’t be surprised when everything you say is questioned.
If you don’t take action, don’t be surprised if you get nowhere.
When you constantly berate someone for simply being themselves, don’t be surprised when they are no longer a part of your life.
When someone takes the time to support you and you don’t acknowledge their kindness, don’t be surprised when that kindness and support turns sour and hesitant.
When you abandon someone in their time of need, don’t be surprised if they’re gone when you need them.
It takes courage to lay down your pride but it makes you a better person. Make the right choice. If not, don’t be surprised when life takes you down dark paths.
20 Posts in 20 Days