The term “soul mate” often gets a bad rep with most nonbelievers of such notion. Let me be honest, I’ve never believed in such a thing either, up until three years ago. I guess the whole idea of a soul mate just seems so fictional, so…Disney. Those who are unlucky in love have deemed the concept false while the fortunate, starry-eyed ones hoot at those ill-fated souls who have yet to find their mate.
We often hear stories about couples who marry because they felt it was the right thing to do. We then hear that those couples are unhappy and want out due to lack of communication, etc. Why do they stop trying? If that person is your soul mate, you try your best to make it work. Sometimes, you don’t even need to try; everything just falls into place. “The honeymoon stage” may not stay fully alive forever but there’s always a spark.
You’re probably wondering how a 24 year old can possibly know any of this. You may be thinking “how ignorant of her to imply any of this? What experience has she had?” Everything I’ve learned about love, I learned from my grandparents. They met when they were still in high school and married at the age of 21. They never cheated, though they did have the occasional fight, but it was only over minor things. They knew how to make a relationship work. The stories my grandmother used to tell me were inspiring. I’ve never understood true love before and their story made me believe that I can have that too someday. An acquaintance of mine once told me that they would have never made it work in this day and age. That saddened me. “Well, why not?” I asked. “Because couples back then were different” he said. I thought to myself “well, that’s just pitiful.” Sure times have changed but true love – the love you know and feel deep in every fiber of your being – can work no matter what the circumstances. I want people to believe in that again. I want our future grand kids and their children to see more old couples walking hand in hand. I want all of us to stop settling. Stop marrying the wrong people because we think there’s no infinite possibility that we have our very own soul mate out there. By doing so, we are starting a chain of unfortunate events. We marry the wrong people; our soul mates are left to marry the wrong people. Think of that the next time you’re unsure of your relationship.
My last relationship was one of those eye opening learning experiences. He was “the one.” Or so I thought. We were together for four years. He was kind (in the beginning) and he said I was “the one” too. I assumed that was it for me. I had everything I needed and it would all work out. As I kept repeating those things to myself over and over I knew deep down I was lying to myself. One morning I woke up, after a long string of bad events, and thought to myself “do I want this? Do I really want to spend my life with this guy?” I knew I loved him but not the way I knew I was supposed to. I thought that I could learn to love him in that way over time, but it never happened. In fact, it only made me see that we were growing further apart. We mutually ended things before it had a chance to get worse. Imagine if we didn’t. What would my life look like now? Whenever I ask myself that, all I can see is pain and unhappiness. Never settle…ever.
The only thing I know for sure about soul mates is that timing is everything. Don’t force relationships; let them develop naturally. Pay attention to the signs that are thrown your way. They’re very crucial to the path you should be following. If you find that soul mate of yours, don’t let go…no matter how difficult it gets.