My Devotional Ties Are Keeping Me Around

For the unemployed, finding a job feels like a needle in a haystack, especially in this economy.  It really opens your eyes to how unfair life can be.  For example: I had to make a phone call to a certain company who I will leave anonymous.  What I’m about to point out may be a tad bit embarrassing for them.  So I call up this place and the receptionist answers the phone exactly like this: *insert bimbo-like voice here* “Helloooooo?”  Not, “Hello, thank you for calling *insert company name here,* how may I help you?”  But just a one giant annoying loud “helloooooo?”  Why are they hiring people like that when there are zillions of intelligent, professional individuals who can get the job done right?!  It just doesn’t make sense to me and it infuriates me.  I just have to calm myself down and tell myself that eventually I’ll get my time; it’s just not at this moment, for reasons I don’t understand.

Remember when we were kids and we’d try to set up a game of Pretend?  We’d let our friends pick out which Spice Girl or superhero they wanted to be but for some reason, they weren’t into it. They’d just ignore you and move on to whatever caught their attention and you’re left to figure out what you did wrong or why they don’t want to play with you?  Or that time in high school when you find yourself obsessing over why some guy doesn’t like you?  You constantly ask yourself “what am I doing wrong? Why doesn’t he like me? Am I too fat; too weird?  Why not me?”  That is how I feel about finding a job.  In the beginning, after finding out about a job that would be absolutely perfect for me, I get all enthusiastic.  I start preparing for what I’m going to say in my cover letter, making my resume perfect so it shows that I’m trying my best.  I submit everything.  I wait.  I hear nothing.  I inquire about it.  I wait.  I hear nothing.  I am then left sitting here wondering what I did wrong and pointing out every little thing that I am lacking to make sense out of why no one reached out to me.  This is the sick cycle that keeps repeating itself and quite frankly, I am getting sick of it….but I will not give up!  I’ve been going through the motions for a long time now, and I’m thinking maybe it’s time to switch things up a bit.  I’m not sure how but I’m going to take baby steps.  Sometimes it feels like I’ll never find that perfect job for me; I’ll be an unemployed loser until I’m like 30 and they’re going to ask me what took me so long.  What do I say?  This world is full of ignorant assholes who wouldn’t give me a damn chance?  I hope they appreciate honesty.  (I most likely won’t say that…haha.)  I hate the idea of having some recruiter (who doesn’t even know me) tell me that I can’t do something.  Watch me!  Not to sound like I’m tooting my own horn here, but that idiot who gave up on The Beatles before they rose to super-stardom?  I want to make them all feel like him someday. 😉

Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither my career.  There is just so much I want to do with my life and it frustrates me that I can’t do it all right now.  Maybe it’s this terrible notion I have in my head (that I’m trying to rid myself of) that I need to hurry up and get things done before it’s too late; like my life is passing me by and I need it done by a certain time.  It’s going to take some time, but against everything I’ve discussed, it will happen.  When it does, I can’t wait to take you all on that journey with me. 🙂


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