The Glory of Solitude & It’s Relevance In My Life

ImageI’ll just come right out and say it: this world sickens me.  It’s disheartening and cruel, and not to mention, selfish.  Sometimes I feel as if I’m drowning in everyone’s stupidity and my only life vest is my writing.  But then I came across RELEVANT magazine a few weeks ago and it restored my faith (and hope) in the human race.  I just spent over an hour diving into a few articles and the things I’ve read had me in tears, mainly because I couldn’t believe that there are actually like-minded individuals out there with strong morals who are crafting those beliefs into beautiful, and meaningful, prose.  I’m not alone in this world, and that is a comforting feeling.  I literally just sat here in my own little bubble saying “I NEED to write for them!”  Not to mention my giddiness when I found out they are based in my hometown of Winter Park, FL.   I am so sick of seeing meaningless articles about how some girl slept with her best friend’s boyfriend or a sexually explicit tell-all about how she gets around.  I don’t find that to be life-changing writing.  It’s not contributing anything to this world, other than the confirmation that we need more people to be part of the solution, not the problem.

Writer Debra K. Fileta wrote a lovely article on The Perks of Solitude.  She discusses how in this day and age, it seems socially unacceptable to be alone.  I absolutely fell in love with this quote:

“There is an underlying, unspoken idea in our Western culture that somehow, being alone makes you less of a person. That somehow, it takes away your value.”

I’ve always sort of been a loner, or “introvert” if you will.  I prefer to be by myself rather than with a bunch of people who don’t get me and/or criticize me for being that way.  I always say choose your company, don’t let it choose you.  I pretty much go everywhere on my own: shopping, concerts, libraries, long walks.  While some may say that is a “pathetic” trait to have, I think it builds character.  Some people can’t even go to the bathroom by themselves.  I revel in my solitude.  Sure, at times it can feel lonely, but that’s when God comes into play…along with a journal and a pen.  Enjoying your own company can form the stepping stones in your life.  No one else can live your life for you.  By taking the time out to spend with God and your thoughts, it becomes easier to pave your way into the future.  Imagine what you hope for and then go out and grab it.

Growing up, I never had such a great support system, other than my mother.  When I finally found a few amazing friends, I was quite taken aback.  I never imagined I’d actually have people like that in my life.  Most of my past friendships had been, what I like to call, “Convenience,” meaning they only hung around me because maybe it was convenient at the time for them.  At the time, I thought there was a slight possibility that maybe I was just being ridiculous and they really were true, but I soon learned that that was not the case at all.  My instincts are usually always correct.

Although I may never get to see my friends often, as they all lead different lives in different places, whenever there is a possibility that I can see them, I jump at the chance.  I find that being around these people is as easy as breathing.  We all just click and I don’t have to worry about what I’m doing wrong or if I’ll offend them by talking about certain topics.  There’s no fake laughter or forced smiles.  Everything that flows between us is 100% genuine and it makes me feel so incredibly blessed that God has placed these people in my life.

As much as I value my solitude, I equally value my friendships.  It’s a happy balance that I am more than content with.  What anyone may say about that is really none of my business.  I don’t care to know about what ignorant “individuals” (and I use that term loosely) think about me or how I choose to live my life.  As for RELEVANT, I just want to say thank you for being different and defying social norms.  It’s refreshing to see something out there with substance and depth.  Expect a few pieces from me soon! 😉


6 thoughts on “The Glory of Solitude & It’s Relevance In My Life

  1. It’s very interesting to see how different culture values different characteristics of people.
    I’m a Chinese and it’s a norm to be obedient so I never had much of a problem being quiet and shy. It does cause me inconvenience sometimes when people try to interact with me because I’m just socially awkward and being an introvert doesn’t contribute much in my socialisation skills :b
    Things became different when I went to Uni to do Psychology. My lecturers constantly encourage – or more like pushing – me to speak up. I cannot understand why it’s such a negative thing to just be myself and to sit there and listen to others speak. I thought Psychology lecturers should understand better. I’m comfortable in my own skin – at least I’m much more insecure with my personality type than before – but it does take a piece out of me whenever people ask me why I don’t socialise. I do. Probably I don’t do it that often.
    In urban areas (over here at my place) I notice it’s becoming a norm to be outspoken and outgoing. Even employers seem to be looking for employees that possess these characteristics. I’m probably just unfit for any positions in the corporate world. But I think this is one of the reasons why I choose my friends carefully. I have less control over my working environment so I wouldn’t want to deal with people who are less understanding of my situation when I’m off-work. It comforts me whenever I know that there are always people whom I can fall back on no matter what I’m going through in life [:


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