The Resume: The Death Of My Self-Confidence

charles-barsotti-i-yam-what-i-yam-an-tha-s-all-i-yam-what-the-hell-kind-of-resume-isThere’s something about “sprucing” up my resume that makes me want to keel over and drop dead. I’m serious. It frightens me to the point where I feel sick and I’d rather die. It makes me feel like I’m being fake, and if there’s anything I hate more in this world, it’s my sad ability to put on a happy face and play pretend. My shittiest quality, I think. Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that it’s key to be professional and I’m pretty sure I can do that without being fake, but I just don’t like whoring myself out to people who don’t have the common decency to even send a rejection letter. I’m trying to help you out. A simple “thank you, I’m sorry but no” should suffice. Honestly, I hate asking permission to do something I know within every bone of my body I can do while thinking deep down that they are thinking that I can’t. It’s like “Um hi? (*hides*) I want to work for you (*gets on knees*) and I know I may not know everything but I’m willing to learn and I know I can do this if you justgivemeachance….!” I get it. It’s a tough race. Sometimes it even feels like a competition and I understand that companies only choose the people who they think will be a better fit, but I can’t help hating this process the more I put myself through it. It’s a sick sad cycle.

I got to thinking about if I could write my resume the way I really wanted it to look. Maybe if I actually send this version out, I might get somewhere. OK, probably not, but it was still fun to write. πŸ˜€what-if-i-told-you-you-dont-need-a-traditional-resume

OBJECTIVE:

I never know what to write in this section. Honestly, it varies with every place I apply to because I know that each place is different and has certain needs and tasks to be met.

Here’s what I usually put, and I know it’s cheesy but it’s honest:

To thrive and grow within a creative community of driven individuals; to create quality content that will put smiles on the faces of people around the world.

While that is super honest, here is what I really want to say:

Honestly, I really don’t know. What I do know is that I want to learn. I’m DYING to learn. I feel like I’m being punched in the face every time because I don’t have the required experience most places need. How can I gain experience if I’m not given any opportunities?! Drop the people who are on Facebook and playing with their phones all day and hire someone who actually wants to work hard and take your company to the next level with you. Oh yeah, and I’m a writer who’s passionate and trustworthy. πŸ™‚

EXPERIENCE / RELATED EXPERIENCE:

I’ve been blogging my heart out for as long as I can remember but I never imagined writing to be a career. Now that I have at least 5 blogs under my belt, I feel a bit more secure…kind of.

Here is what I really want to say in this section:

I blog on BUZZNET, Infectious Magazine, A Thousand Guitars, WordPress and I write up reviews and promos for Independent Music Promotions. (Of course I’d add a bit more info.) This is my only experience but I know I can do more if given the chance.

EDUCATION:

A really shitty high school that I ultimately left so I could get my diploma on my own and a bunch of affordable at home college courses because I cannot afford to attend a regular college. I do the best with what I have. I am not dumb. That lack of degree does not define me. I can do anything college grads can do (besides a keg stand.) Take it or leave it. (That was a bit salty, but oh well lol)

QUALITIES:

This is the only aspect of my resume that I actually don’t mind at all.

Team player, organized, detail oriented, punctual, dedicated worker, creative, eager to learn, honest, strong moral compass.

Or this seems like a viable option:

res

I realize that all made me sound like a total bitch. I can be at times when pushed too far, like I am right now, but I’m not normally like that. I’m just frustrated…..but I’m not giving up. πŸ˜‰

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5 thoughts on “The Resume: The Death Of My Self-Confidence

  1. All those minimum-wage jobs could be to some extent relevant.
    You must have learnt how to follow instructions, to deal with the people, to answer to the phone, to prioritise tasks, to react fast. And much more!
    On top of it, you must have learnt to live on a small budget, and that would speak of your economic skills as well.

    Be creative! πŸ˜€

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  2. I get what you said. I just wish job applicants wouldn’t have to send in resumes beforehand and people would just give us a chance to work and show our employers what we’ve got. It’s just crazy to rely only on resumes to call people back for interviews. It’s frustrating when I can’t verbalise myself. I’m better at doing hands-on task rather than telling the interviewers what I can do. Just put me in that situation and I know I can navigate around.
    [Hugs] I hope you’ll find a wonderful employer because you’re just brilliant at what you’re doing.

    Like

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