A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned how life is like the weather. It is constantly changing and nothing ever really stays the same forever. As I was sitting outside my front steps in Brooklyn on this beautiful afternoon, I looked up and wondered if anyone really looks up at the sky as often as I do. I was literally just sitting there looking up like I was watching a movie and then I noticed this couple looking at me and then looking up, wondering what on earth I was looking at. They looked skeptical and probably thought I was high on something. I’ve been pretty high on life this past few days. Things just seem to be turning around. Finally. But somewhere deep inside I know they’ll go back to shit again. But that’s just my old ways creeping up on me. They never fully left yet.
As I was observing the sky, I wondered how I ever had my doubts about God. How can anyone look at the sky, or the stars, and not believe in some higher power? The clouds are constantly moving. Changing. Re-arranging. We are those clouds.
I love observing. Sometimes, I feel like human beings are not programmed to observe. We are programmed to live life like it’s one big race. Who has the best job? Who went to the best schools? Who has the most money? Is it so wrong that I don’t want to live that way? I don’t want my anxiety to wind up killing me before I hit 30 just because I’m not as established as everyone else. We waste so much of our precious time on things that stress us out and kill us in the end. I want to observe more. I want to document these things so that I will never forget them. I want to start taking more pictures, even though I feel like a hipster whenever I do. If they can take pictures of dog crap and post it to Tumblr with the tag “dog shit in Brooklyn,” then I can certainly take more photos of the sky! I want these observations to take flight in my creativity. I want to write things I never imagined myself writing. I want to move forward. I want to see.
There are two things in this world that I am praying for with every ounce of my being. I cannot say what they are, but the sky gives me faith that things can turn around. Clouds move away from each other. They also glide towards others. The impossible can turn into a very bright possible.