New York: This Dream Isn’t Feeling Sweet

girl-good-morning-lonely-morning-new-york-Favim.com-191682They say to live in New York is to never be lonely. I disagree. I’ve lived in New York for the past eighteen years of my life and now that I am 25, I can honestly say that I’ve never felt more alone. I feel invisible, yet on display.

This city is big. Filthy. Vast. Vibrant. Ever-changing. Fast-paced. Moving at the speed of light – yet I am stagnant. Watching as everyone leads a life I will never have, dreams I’ll never live up to and loves I will never experience. Everyone is out for themselves. I am no one special. I am nothing. I could spend an eternity in slumber in the city that never sleeps.

Good friends are scarce. I feel caged, looking for people who share the same values to save me, while the evil look down, mock and criticize. Morals are hard to find in a tainted culture. People judge you while not wanting to be judged themselves.

They all come here to “make it.” Do they really? I wish I knew the percentage of people that come here and actually make it. If you can feel lonely here, you can feel lonely anywhere.

In my New York City, people are mean. They push and shove. Yell and violate. Men leer and make you feel uncomfortable. Guns are an accessory. People will shove you into traffic if it helped them get to their destination faster. Everyone is in a hurry to get nowhere. This city disgusts me.

But that’s just on a bad day…because this city…it also has a way of amazing me.

“This dream isn’t feeling sweet
We’re reeling through the midnight streets
And I’ve never felt more alone
It feels so scary getting old”

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21 thoughts on “New York: This Dream Isn’t Feeling Sweet

  1. I hear you. So you’re not entirely alone, sister, not quite. The world is big and busy and thoughtless, but that doesn’t mean life is pointless. It just means that it can be hard sometimes. I hope you find the purpose I feel you’re looking for.

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    1. Yes, I think it’s a universal feeling. You can feel lonely anywhere but some people seem to think the grass is so much greener in a big city. Funny since the only grass we have is in Central Park….and most of it isn’t green.

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  2. I seriously love your blog. I always feel you say things that I’m always thinking. I lived in a very small village in Wales up until last year and I felt so suffocated there. I went to New York in 2009, and it can be a cruel city- but it also inspired me more than any other place. I’ve returned there twice since then. Love your writing 🙂 xoxo

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  3. Hi… if this picture is not your personal picture, then can I use it for my next post in my blog? Let me know.. I will wait for your response before using this picture…

    girl-good-morning-lonely-morning-new-york-favim-com-191682.jpg

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