How The Actions of Teenage Boys Can Ruin Teen Girls’ Self-Esteem

ImageI was on the bus this past weekend when a group of teenage boys, ranging in age from 13-16, sat behind me. Normally, I have my iPod handy to avoid listening to everybody’s nonsense but unfortunately my battery died so I was forced to sit through a very disturbing conversation between these boys for what seemed like an eternity. I really tried to mind my business. I failed.

The conversation all started when one boy mentioned a text he got from this girl he supposedly likes. His friend was determined to prove that said girl wasn’t the hottest thing in the world. She was average. (So I guess the rumors are true: guys rank us on how hot they think we are. Please don’t inform me of where I rank.) Then they decided to go around the circle and talk about the topic of virginity and how lame it is that some of them have never done it before. When one of them mentioned how ugly a girl in their class is, he started to state that in order to have sex with her, he’d have to put a bag over her head. While I did manage to find all of their immature chatter to be disgusting, it got me thinking about how these boys were raised. Chances are, you can raise your kids the way you want but once they’re out with their friends, any chance of having a backbone is completely annihilated by peer pressure.

I also started to think about the poor girl they were talking about and how her self-esteem would be destroyed if she heard all of the horrible things being said about her by these boys. It reminded me of myself in high school. I liked this one guy for about two years even though I knew he wasn’t man enough to stand up to his stupid friends. God only knows half of the things he said about me, but from what I’ve heard, it wasn’t kind. We accept the love we think we deserve, and sadly at 16, we don’t deem ourselves worthy of much.

I want to shield every teenage girl away from boys like that because boys like that ruined my self-esteem at a young age. But the truth is, boys gossip just as much as girls do, if not, worse. What I overheard was degrading and flat out unacceptable behavior. I wonder what they would say if someone talked about their sisters or mothers that way. Will they ever grow up? Will they ever get married one day and learn respect for women? I’m not sure if things will ever change, but the lack of respect from young men these days is disheartening. If just one of them had the balls to stand up in front of their a-hole friends and put a stop to it, I guarantee that not only will their friends follow suit, but they’ll actually start a movement.

Ladies, refuse to settle for less than what you deserve. Despite what they say and what you may think, you ARE worth it.

Boys: want to be treated like a man? Then act like one!


7 thoughts on “How The Actions of Teenage Boys Can Ruin Teen Girls’ Self-Esteem

  1. I think that is relatively true. Unfortunately we’re living in a world where women are still being objectified and we’re judged based on our physical appearance.
    It’s frustrating – and which is why I think education plays such an important role in shaping people’s mind (:


  2. Hey There!

    I’m new and have been browsing blogs to follow, then I came across yours. I like your writing and particularly liked this piece. As a youth worker I feel the same way as you about wanting to “shield” teenage girls away from this stuff. I think the most beneficial way to help them is to constanlty speak life and remind them of their worth every chance we get and just hope that our voices drown out the useless jabbering of misguided teenage boys (and vice versa!)


  3. The thing is, is anybody can ruin ones self esteem. Teachers, friends, but for the most part it is the parent who has to give there children the strong backbone to stand up to there friends, and to teach them that talking like that or looking there is wrong. At a young age,teach your kids this is wrong and stand up for what is right not what is easy. The lack of respect for others is going down the tube, and this is a good example.


    1. Great point! But I’ve noticed that it doesn’t matter how many times parents drill certain values into their children’s heads – sometimes they’re not as strong and they’re going to follow what their friends are doing just so they don’t get crap for it. Is that morally right? No, but it’s how the world is, sadly.


  4. Hi. I’m a dude, and a parent. I can basically say that it’s not just guys that do this. Most girls do the exact same thing, They just tend to do it when they think there’s no one else to listen. You bet it’s degrading, but my daughters and sons grew out of it after they matured a little. I hate to break this to you- but people who are immature do immature things. Immature things like judging people based on their looks, saying cruel things because they can, and, brace yourself, strawmanning an entire gender.


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