It’s crazy when you think about all of the things you used to need, especially as a child. I’ve been thinking about how my Christmas lists have changed over the years; from toys to CDs to clothes to things that cannot be bought. For the past few years, all I’ve ever wanted was the same thing but I still haven’t received it. I can look at it two ways: one being that it is out of my reach or I can think about what I do have and how it just isn’t the right time yet. God places things and people in our lives when we truly need them. The person I’ve been wishing and praying for will come when the time is right. I wouldn’t want to rush God’s impeccable timing, but I will say that it is heart wrenching not having the person you love around for the holidays. If I were a child, I’m sure I wouldn’t want it after waiting for so long, but that just isn’t the case anymore.
I feel selfish even making Christmas lists at my age, but I decided to have a little fun with it this year. This is my grown up Christmas list:
1. Person described here.
2. A job that I love and don’t regret taking.
3. People to recognize my writing and actually want me to contribute to their projects, etc.
4. Money, so I can pay off my mother’s debt and free her mind of worries.
5. A never-ending flow of new music for the coming year.
7. Happier spirits during bad times.
8. An end to my anxiety and fears.
9. Health and happiness to those I love.
10. A chance.