To Keep a Man

tumblr_l7mvzmcwIF1qcqiyko1_500Society tells women that in order to keep a man, you need to do the following:

  1. Be sexy all of the time. Wear sexy clothes, take sexy pictures. Engage in sexual activities. If it has the word ‘sex’ in it, just do it.
  2. Be skinny. Guys don’t want girls who “don’t take care of themselves.”
  3. Have loads of selfies on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. If your face (and body) isn’t plastered all over social media like a Victoria’s Secret ad, you’ll get nowhere.
  4. Have a pretty face.

If all of these sound exaggerated, that’s because it’s how the world of relationships is portrayed in our society. Of course I know that none of these things should matter to any man that’s serious about a relationship and if they are following such ridiculous rules, they aren’t really men to begin with. But let’s take a step back for a minute and think about how women like myself feel in a culture that’s so obsessed with the physical. What message are we sending younger girls?

When I was a teenager, I thought the reason why guys didn’t like me was because I was fat and/or not pretty enough. I wasn’t huge, but I wasn’t society’s definition of normal. It could have been anything, really – my weight, my skin, my teeth. At that age, it’s hard not to loathe yourself and even harder to face the fact that guys talked about you behind your back. I might have cared a bit too much about someone and for that I felt like I was being crucified for it. Ha ha ha. The ugly girl likes me. Let’s make a mockery of it! So, with my next relationship, I cared about only half as much but I was still being molded into somebody I couldn’t be. Looking back, I realize I wasn’t the one with the problem but what do you do when all they’ve ever wanted was anything but who you are?

I may never know how to keep a man. Simply loving them with every fiber of my being is never enough. There’s always somebody better. Prettier. Happier. Who has it all together. I guess I’ll just stick to hugging stuffed animals at night until I’m 80 and senile and I think they’re talking back to me.

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One thought on “To Keep a Man

  1. I can relate to this! It’s a sad, sad world that we’re living in. I believe that I can never find a partner because I’m just not physically attractive enough and I’m not rich enough – that’s the thought I had when I was younger and it’s still the same thought I have till now. A part of me has given up on looking for a partner.
    I think that I’ve been fed with too many messages of how I need to pretty according to the societal’s standards. It eats me from the inside. Whenever I’m on the streets and there are other girls who walked pass me who are prettier I just feel like I should dig a hole and hide in there and never come out. Subtle messages like, “She found a boyfriend because she’s pretty” just doesn’t help at all ):
    It’s interesting how men want girls who are skinny and still have the curves/boobs. I guess if I ever meet someone who’s interested in me I’ll be doubting that person’s intentions Lol I guess I’m convinced I’ll be forever alone.

    Like

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