- Be sexy all of the time. Wear sexy clothes, take sexy pictures. Engage in sexual activities. If it has the word ‘sex’ in it, just do it.
- Be skinny. Guys don’t want girls who “don’t take care of themselves.”
- Have loads of selfies on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. If your face (and body) isn’t plastered all over social media like a Victoria’s Secret ad, you’ll get nowhere.
- Have a pretty face.
If all of these sound exaggerated, that’s because it’s how the world of relationships is portrayed in our society. Of course I know that none of these things should matter to any man that’s serious about a relationship and if they are following such ridiculous rules, they aren’t really men to begin with. But let’s take a step back for a minute and think about how women like myself feel in a culture that’s so obsessed with the physical. What message are we sending younger girls?
When I was a teenager, I thought the reason why guys didn’t like me was because I was fat and/or not pretty enough. I wasn’t huge, but I wasn’t society’s definition of normal. It could have been anything, really – my weight, my skin, my teeth. At that age, it’s hard not to loathe yourself and even harder to face the fact that guys talked about you behind your back. I might have cared a bit too much about someone and for that I felt like I was being crucified for it. Ha ha ha. The ugly girl likes me. Let’s make a mockery of it! So, with my next relationship, I cared about only half as much but I was still being molded into somebody I couldn’t be. Looking back, I realize I wasn’t the one with the problem but what do you do when all they’ve ever wanted was anything but who you are?
I may never know how to keep a man. Simply loving them with every fiber of my being is never enough. There’s always somebody better. Prettier. Happier. Who has it all together. I guess I’ll just stick to hugging stuffed animals at night until I’m 80 and senile and I think they’re talking back to me.