Photo courtesy of Sara Scoggins
The grand gesture, along with chivalry, has seen better days. Maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame, but I always imagined a guy making a grand gesture to show me how much he cares. Sadly, I am always the one who has to step up to the plate and make the first move. I’m tired of it. I deserve better. I want to be chased. I deserve a real man. Nothing less.
I recently started talking to an old friend from high school. Back then, he told me he liked me (through an instant message, mind you), but at the time, my heart was occupied/hurt/confused and to be perfectly honest, I thought his friends put him up to it. I had faced enough humiliation during that time so I rejected him. He didn’t fight for me. He didn’t show me he was better than that other guy who hurt me or that he really wanted me. I went on assuming he was desperate and questioned my worth, again. “It’s never the decent ones,” I tell myself. It never is.
Fast forward to the present, and I’m noticing the changes in this guy. I apologized for rejecting him, explaining to him the situation back then. I know he still likes me, but he can’t be a man about it. He can’t forget the past and admit it. Last night I asked him point blank: why am I not worth the truth? He stumbled. He couldn’t put his words together. I apologized for putting him on the spot, but I was getting tired of walking in circles with him. I want a man to be honest with me. I’m tired of playing guessing games. I’m not a fan of games, period. I need someone who’s not afraid to be vulnerable; someone I can confide in and who isn’t afraid to confide in me. Raw honesty…all of the time. How a real relationship is supposed to be. Maybe I’m too caught up in fairy tale romances, but I can’t help but wonder if guys actually do the things I desire in real life. The term, “gentlemen,” seems to be a lost concept on this generation.
Long story short, he let me walk away. Every red flag that has been spewing out in front of me over the past month are telling me to keep running. To all of the guys out there: refuse to be that man. Stand up for what you believe in, be willing to fight for the girl and don’t give up unless she gives you a firm, “no.” Make an effort, put in the work. Don’t be that guy who sits on the sidelines. Don’t be like the rest of them who let the people they love slip right out of their hands. It’s unattractive. Grand gestures show maturity. Confidence. Show her you care.
Tell her you love her. She deserves to hear it. Always.
“Don’t you run away when you get tired. ‘Cause this will slip away and start a fire that can never be put out. Hurry time is running out. Don’t you run away before you tell her you love her.”