After a long time searching for a job/internship, I finally got a call back from someplace really cool. “Finally,” I thought. But after my interview, the more I thought about it, the more something wasn’t sitting right with me. “What the hell is wrong with me?” I thought. But if I’ve learned anything in my 25 years of life, it’s that if something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t.
The waiting process is a nerve wracking one. As I thought through every possible scenario, weighing the pros and cons, the cons outweighed the positive aspects. It got to the point where I hoped I wouldn’t get it, but surprisingly the internship was offered to me. I declined.
When you’re young and just starting out, you want to take every opportunity that comes your way; maybe it’s being over-ambitious or maybe we have this sinking feeling that we’ll never receive another opportunity again. Whatever it is, we need to take a step back and really question what we want.
After mulling it over with a friend, I decided that an unpaid internship really isn’t in my best interests at the time. Maybe if it was something else, somewhere else, I would have taken it. After all, I’m no stranger to unpaid work. Through all of this, I learned something very valuable: I already have everything I need. Keep aiming higher. My friend reminded me that I’ve already paid my dues as an unpaid worker and that I am worthy of bigger and better things.
Maybe I might regret this in a couple of months. Was this a stupid decision? Possibly, depending on who you ask. But it was the right one for me. Lorde turned down an offer to open for Katy Perry. She’s doing pretty well for herself. I think I will too.
There’s a big difference between taking what you can get versus believing there are other better opportunities properly suited for us. It all worked out in the end. Even though I declined the internship, the editorial director wants me to contribute articles once a week. Now I get to be a part of a site that captured my attention with it’s respect for independent artists while staying true to my own independent values. :)
One thing is for sure, I took a chance. That has to count for something. It could even be considered as fearless. ;)
Fearless In 2014