As I watch the people around me getting together for late night BBQs in the yard, friends walking arm in arm down the street and people talking on the subway, I can’t help but wish I had a true friend by my side to get me through this. Someone who I can talk to without omitting certain details for fear of being judged.
I’ve always enjoyed my solitude – and don’t get me wrong, I still do, but lately I’ve been craving human interaction. But not just with anybody. I’m no stranger to being in a crowd of friends yet feeling completely alone. I distanced myself from those people of my past – the ones who always found a way to make me feel like I am the odd one out. My flaws were on display for them to ridicule and patronize me with. This is probably why I’m so introverted.
Unfortunately, the people who mean the most to me don’t live anywhere near me nor do I have the money to travel to go see them. It’s getting pretty lonely lately and I’m not sure I can handle everything all by myself anymore.
When everyone assumes you’re a certain way and when they find out you’re not, you get cast aside pretty easily. I know there’s gotta be someone out there like me. This is a big city. Somehow though, I feel like it swallows me up in all it’s ruthlessness before I have the chance to discover what’s really out there.
Dear friend, I wish you were here.