I took a walk over to East River Park today to clear my head. Had Kye Kye in my ears and the (hot ass) sun beating down on my face. It sounds better than it was. I don’t deal with heat very well. All in all though, it was relaxing to hear “Dreams (2am)” and all of my favorites with a view I often take for granted.
I’ve been craving peace for a long time. It’s hard to find it in a city like this, but God is everywhere. For a while there, I lost Him. His voice got hidden away with all of the noise in my head. He kept telling me I was veering too far from shore, but He watched me as I wandered, letting me go. Then, I guess He got tired of my bullshit so he created a massive storm to wake me up and bring me back to safety.
“Guard it most, dark distractions. Driven by a mood that takes over when you lose yourself.”
I think Small Black’s “Proper Spirit” displays all of this perfectly.
“You haven’t shown the proper spirit.”
I really haven’t. But I need to stop beating myself up over a 6-month slip-up that got the best of me all because of my impatience.
“Let it go. Let it go. Let it die.”
It wasn’t meant for you, but it’s okay. Concentrate on what really matters.
I’ve been saying that I need to find my old self again, but I’m starting to realize that she’s long gone. A new and improved me is on the horizon. I just need more time to find her. She’ll still be me, but better.
Look what you’re missing out on.