Four years ago tonight, I had no idea that my life was about to change by morning.
I had no idea that what I already knew was about to turn into what I had known – a fine line dividing my life into then and the new now.
On the morning of July 29, 2010, God woke me up. He said, “Follow this. Follow me.”
And so I did.
I was transforming into the person I wanted to be, and to this day, I still feel it.
The rational part of me thinks I never woke up that morning; that I’m only witnessing my life from behind closed eyelids. Maybe it was all an illusion.
But this is real.
The pain. The waiting. My patience wearing thin. The signs. The nights when I feel like I don’t have it in me to hold on any longer.
It’s all real and it is happening at lightening speed. Picking me up then throwing me back into rough waters.
I’ve questioned it more than I should, which ultimately leads to me not only questioning my faith, but questioning God himself.
I’m realizing that it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but myself. This is mine. Focus right. Dirty lies only use up time.
Why He’s choosing to drag it out so long is beyond me, but I guess there’s a lot I haven’t learned yet.
I’m a work in progress.
I’ll never understand this.
But maybe, just maybe, He’s going to lead me to the big finish soon, which, ultimately to me, is only the beginning.
It’s a new chapter. It may be a little scary, but that fear is how you know it’s working.
God is working. I can’t wait to see what He’s doing up there.
“Push with a heart, with a weight, with a mind that knows the one narrow road”