*For the next 20 days, I am challenging myself to write 20 posts on self-reflection, etc. Times are stressful and it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves and what/who we want to be and achieve. Brave enough to participate? Just follow along and send me your posts via the comments, a pingback, Twitter or Facebook. 🙂
We read about it all the time – people from my generation who complain about how much it sucks to be a twenty-something. Some I agree with while some are just flat-out depressing. When we were in our youth and we imagined what it would be like to be in our twenties, I think we assumed it would be much easier than it is. We painted pictures in our minds effortlessly of how our lives would finally fall into place and the trials of adolescence would be behind us. We are now at that age where it feels impossible to succeed; like the world is against our happiness and we have to fight for it like wild animals. Unfortunately, for most of us, no matter how different our situations may be, things haven’t played out so well. But, for me, I think it turned out for the better.
The hardest thing about being 26 is the uncertainty and I have a feeling it’s always going to feel this way even if I’m 46. I’m constantly questioning if I’m on the right path or if I’m just not doing enough to get to where I want to be. Frustration does not even begin to describe my life right now and the more I try to find these answers, the more upset I become. For most of my life, I’ve relied on my intuition to guide me along and it’s gotten me pretty far (and to good places I feel happy with) but I live with a fear of always being wrong and that screws up everything. There’s always that little voice inside my head (and honestly, she sounds a lot like my mother, God bless her) that tells me that I should do it another way or that everything I’m doing is wrong and I’m going to screw myself out of a great opportunity. If you’re in your twenties and don’t have anxiety, I’ll have what you’re having.
Being 26 also comes with the quarter life crisis. I felt it as my birthday was approaching this year. Being unemployed (without health insurance) and feeling like you’re just hanging on a thin rope without any prospects (or help from your fellow peers) can be quite traumatizing. “When is life going to feel like it’s supposed to?” is a question I (and I’m sure most people my age) ask every day. Although I already know the answer to that one (never), I can’t help but feel like my life is passing me by and before you know it, I’m going to be 30 and still stagnant. People ask me all the time why I don’t engage in the “usual” activities that my peers seem to enjoy, and just the thought of having to explain myself again to someone who will never understand is not only grueling but an endless battle I am sick of fighting.
Of course, it’s not all downhill from here. But I guess when you’re stuck in an endless rut and covered in mud, it’s hard to see the brighter side of things. I may not be where I wish I could be, but I’m glad I’m not where I was. I’m open to any and all suggestions of happiness (and please don’t say “get drunk” or I’ll hit you in the face…seriously).
20 Posts in 20 Days
“If I can’t keep you nobody can, so slow down.”