These Destructive Thoughts

The cold reminds me of all I lack.

The bitterness,

unforgiving,

showing me how worthless this life can be when you realize who will never be there for you.

The wind,

a bold reminder of the cry for help.

The silence,

a breathtaking sign that I am utterly alone.

I ask Him to take me.

I am no good here.

But He leaves me here,

wondering if there is more than this emptiness.

He always gets my hopes up until I fall again.

Then, He picks me up in the middle of the night and lets me sleep,

until I have to go through it again.

He’s at the foot of my bed,

watching over me.

This is what I have to believe.

That someone cares.

That it’s not that easy to let me go.

What others have shown us isn’t always as it shall be.

Sometimes the ones who leave were never meant to be….

…but what if now, there is no one?

Just me, myself and I,

alone with these destructive thoughts?

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