Momentary Glimpse: January 13, 2015

I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I’m constantly waiting for everyone to grow up. Then, I look back and realize that I’ve always felt this way. I often ask, “When are they going to get a clue?” Maybe it’s me.

While I often feel like an alien thrown onto another planet, I can’t help but wonder when I’m going to grow up myself. Maybe what everyone else is doing is the new mature and I’m the disoriented toddler stumbling around trying to get a firm grip on this thing called life. I just want a career. I want to be a part of something that I can evolve with and who appreciates my ideas and contributions. I want to start already…but I don’t know where or how.

What has always concerned me doesn’t concern them. In fact, it never has. Just sitting in my room, listening to one album intently, can teach me a million lessons I never had to pay for. I’ve grown up to the sound of music – the lyrics telling me stories of my own past and some I’d rather not experience. I feel like I’ve seen and heard it all. So why do I feel like I’m waiting on a deserted island, dying to be rescued?

I can’t keep waiting for others to get on my level. I just have to keep walking…even if it means a lifetime of loneliness. Maybe, just maybe, eventually, someone will catch up.

“In the heart of your heartless world where everything seems to be vain…”

*Momentary Glimpses are pages from my journal. Sometimes, one sentence explains it all while others tend to get lengthy. My hope is that you can relate and not feel so alone.

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