For the past few nights I’ve self-destructively opened up old wounds as the same people whom have ripped my world to shreds keep walking in and out of my life. I got to thinking how I really don’t know anything and the more I ponder over what all of this crap means, the more insane I get. When “aiming higher” seems out of reach, we tend to succumb to the notion that all we are worth is the pile of shit that lies in front of us, which couldn’t be further from the truth. In order to move on and close those old wounds that keep us up at night writhing in pain and confusion, we need to remind ourselves that it is up to us to decide that we are worthy. We sometimes forget that humans are equipped with modes of survival but we are also empowered from our minds. Wallow all you want, and take your time – but when it’s time to take a firm stand against your demons, you better use your backbone and demand your self-worth on a silver platter. After all, it begins with what’s inside. What’s inside manifests itself outside. Believe in that and you’ll be fine. The solutions to our problems are sometimes so simple and obvious we tend to overlook them. Then, oh look! A light bulb appears and we’re just like, “Oh yeah….damn.”
An elevator only works when it’s buttons are pushed. Sure, the doors may close and you’ll be stuck inside a still steel box for all of eternity (unless someone else pushes a button and you’re stuck going where they want to go – not an ideal journey) but if you really want to explore new territory, don’t forget to push that button. It’s all uphill from there. Pushing that button is a choice and it takes maturity to actually want to push it…or all of them. 😉
I have an issue with closure,
I can’t let things fade.
My world has many doors spanning infinite floors,
yet this elevator stays rock bottom,
refusing to move beyond past circumstances.
Nothing’s ever settled and I’m always feeling like I’m missing the big picture.
“Do you really want to stay on the same floor?”
“Is that all? Aim higher.”
Will I ever reach the top?
Will these doors ever open and reveal the mystery of what’s behind them?
But then I realized,
the choice is up to me.
I just had to push the button.
And now I’m free,
I’m on my way.
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