I’ve loved this way for so long,
I’m not sure how I’ll deal if you really came to me.
The ghost of you lingers on my fingertips.
For one second, I held everything I’ve ever wanted in my hands.
Your presence hovers over this city we both call home,
but you’re stuck in a bubble,
and I’m not sure you’ll ever find your way out.
Who are you?
Who am I holding on to?
Will he love me the way I am?
Will I love him after all that’s been hidden?
There is a man from my dreams that resembles you.
He lights up my eyes and puts a smile on my face.
He looks at me as if I put the stars in the sky and the word “love” in the dictionary.
He marvels at my patience and scowls at how long he’s made me wait.
He holds me like I’ll disappear if he lets go.
He never wastes a kiss and hooks his fingers around mine.
But when I wake, it is only me and the salty shame of tears first thing in the morning.
I’m tired of ghosts and I’m tired of waiting.
I’m tired of seeing the same type of girl on your arm and I’m tired of worrying.
I hand it all over to the Lord, asking Him what made Him think I could handle this.
Maybe I’m the one in La La Land,
while you’re the one living.