That harrowing moment when:
- Everyone knows and you feel like an idiot.
- Your pain is twisted into something it is not by others and you are left trying to figure out if it is worth defending.
- You are told to stop feeling it so deeply.
- You feel like there is no escape and everyone is exactly the same.
- You discover something better than you were praying for, yet you still can’t have it.
- You decide to get used to the emptiness, despite how good things have gotten, so it doesn’t completely fuck you up at night and take your breath away.
- You realize it may never feel safe to breathe.
- You realize everything good in your life was all an illusion.
- Sleeping becomes a chore. Pacing, a ritual.
- You realize there is absolutely no one to count on.