I read an article last night that really disturbed me. It basically said that our ideals aren’t realistic and that settling for less is way better than holding out for the right person because, and I quote, “the right person does not exist.” Either the person writing that article is more jaded than I am or he/she is just telling us the bitter truth. But no matter how much this world disappoints me, I still have that little seed of hope that my ideal person is out there. Apparently (and unfortunately) though, the desires below are too much to ask for.
I want to know the feeling of peace; to not live my life with my stomach in knots; to get a good night’s sleep.
I want to know the feeling of never having to worry if he’s gonna get drunk and do something stupid; that he won’t blame me for everything wrong in his life; that he won’t berate me for being boring and sober.
I want him to have not dated the entire world before he finds me. A man who’s selective, respectful, and who carries my level of morals sounds like a dream.
I want him to not make me feel like a terrible person for saying no; to be respected; to feel loved.
I want someone who would much rather have a quiet night in with just the music playing. I want the world outside to disappear as we bask in the glow of each other and the sounds we’ve been dying to share from our collections.
I want to know the feeling of somebody telling me that I don’t need to change; to conform; to fit their mold. That I am beautiful and whole just as I am and that I am not damaged.
I want to know the feeling of waking up next to him, knowing fully that his arms did not leave me all night; that I am safe.
I want a road trip. One where it’s just the two of us with the music playing. Destination: irrelevant.
I want Disney World; where I can be a kid again and not have a care in the world.
I want to be able to tell him things about myself without being scolded for being different.
I want to be told that I am enough; that I’m all he’ll ever need.
I want Christmas morning; every morning.
I want to be my weird self; I want his weird self.
I want to tell him it’s okay if he doesn’t have it all figured out; I want to hear the same from him.
I just want his heart. Undivided. Nothing more. Nothing less.