The Gift of Absence


This is the first year in a while that I haven’t wished for you at Christmas

“Maybe this year,” I’d say

“Maybe this will be our time”

What a fool I’ve been

Chasing an illusion while you chased fakery


But I’d be lying if I didn’t say

There wasn’t a tiny part of me

That wishes for the person I thought you were

Maybe deep down, that’s who you really are

But LA maimed you, turned you into who you never thought you’d be


I never thought there would come a time when I didn’t want you

I never thought there would come a time when I would think of you as I think of the rest

I never thought the day would come when you weren’t the first and last thing on my mind


But here we are

On a day like today

And you’re a stranger now

Just like you’ve always been


But though you’re a stranger

Your face is ingrained in my brain

Blue eyes, light brown hair

Blue jeans, white shirt

Deep, sweet voice

Hands that fit me like a glove


Playing with my hair

Letting me speak my fears

Just like that dream

Always in a dream


Maybe the absence of you was a gift all along

“These days I’m haunted by each day that passes by”


2 thoughts on “The Gift of Absence

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