The Last Noel

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It is Christmas morning and I am lying in bed

I am thinking about the one I loved

Waking up with someone else

The never-ending madness throughout the past six months

The love and sanity lost

 

It is Christmas morning and I am empty

Void of joy and holiday cheer

I used to wish for you every year

Now all I taste are my tears

 

It is Christmas morning and I am an awful person

I do not want to celebrate Christ’s birth

Nor do I want to be reminded of how

He abandoned me when

I needed Him most

 

It is Christmas morning and I awoke to the scent of my mother’s cooking

I find comfort in this, though I know these moments are numbered

I am thinking about how much I need you next to me

Whenever I feel like this

To know I’m cared for and loved when it all goes to shit

 

It is Christmas morning and I no longer feel the need to run inside and open presents

What I’ve needed for quite a while isn’t coming

And it certainly cannot be wrapped

Nor do the pretty bows entice me

 

It is Christmas morning

I am alone

I am 27 years old

And I am over this

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