I’ve had this piece tucked away in a notebook for ages. Every time I saw or heard about something that disappointed me, I would add to it. I’m aware it may come off as snooty but it’s just a way to vent when the world makes you feel like an ugly person for wanting to keep certain parts of yourself private. After a while, this shit eats away at you, especially after you’ve witnessed so much injustice while other woman continue to allow it all to happen. I’ve seen friends go through it. I go through it. But none of that makes it okay. I do not care if you disagree and want to call me a bitch. I’m glad it fired you up, though.
I wanted this to be an open letter to every woman out there who has ever felt like a hideous shell of a person for not giving in to a man’s pressures – an appreciation post, if you will. A way of saying, I see you. I feel you. It’s gonna be okay. Just never change.
It’s funny though. Once you open up about these issues, you’re automatically deemed a shrew and a prude when in reality, that couldn’t be more further from the truth. Being the highly sensitive and introverted woman that I am, these issues literally hurt. It’s like you can literally feel it all take a stab at your entire being.
Some women believe they need to use their bodies to prove their worth or so-called “empowerment” while the others get kicked to the curb the minute they start fighting to reverse what the ill-advised started.
It’s always a choice. Choose wisely.
This is for the girls who have been told and shown that they are worthless if they do not show off their bodies or give up a part of themselves whenever a man wants.
This is for the women who are empowered by who they have grown up to become and what they have to offer rather than what they are baring for the entire world to see. This is for the ones who practice what they preach, who know that feminism isn’t about giving men what they want to see but by being amazing in a way only a woman can; for the ones who strive to be good role models for our impressionable youth.
This is for the women who don’t need a certain type of attention to feel beautiful.
This is for the ones who, time after time, are called “prudes” just because they have class and refuse to murder their dignity.
This is for the ones, women and men, who understand that a sense of mystery is sexy.
This is for every girl who has been praised for not being like the other girls yet who get passed over for the ones who are. This is for the girls who have been ignored because the girl who was wearing less was deemed more worthy.
This is for every hard-working woman in the music industry who have been mistakenly called “groupies,” who have been harassed, abused and laughed at simply because of the classless women who have come before us who have blurred the line between professional and sleazy. Someone had to have started it. That person made men think any of that was okay. It’s time to put an end to it.
This is for every woman who has ever been accused of “slut-shaming.” It is time to take responsibility for your actions rather than coming up with terms and excuses to support what you know is vile.
This is for the girls who have been told they’d never get anywhere with their legs closed. For the ones who have been told that they’re too difficult. For the ones who were blindsided by someone they loved because sex wasn’t put on the table immediately.
This is for the ones who have been ridiculed for waiting for the right person. This is for the girls who maybe didn’t wait and wound up regretting it. You are not your mistakes.
This is for the girls who refuse to lower their standards just to fit into our modern society.
This is for the girl who developed a crush on a guy she thought was worthy only to discover the pornographic pictures he likes on social media. This is for the girl who pretends she isn’t disappointed. For making the, “he’s a guy,” excuse over and over again.
This is for the ones who feel as if they are losing their fucking minds living in this fucked up, tainted world. For the ones who live through the pain and loneliness day in and day out because it is so difficult to find someone in this day and age who is 100% genuine and trustworthy. For the ones who put their hearts out on the line time after time only to discover that every man turns out to be just like the rest of them. If you’re a man reading this, don’t be like the rest of them.
This is for the ones who demand respect while radiating it themselves. This is for the ones who don’t need excuses, who lead by example and grace.
This is for my mother who was mistreated and cheated on for 90% of her marriage. I grew up thinking a woman was supposed to keep quiet and agree to anything to avoid confrontation. This is for the women who broke free. Who feel that jab of pain as soon as something is said about a woman’s character when she refuses to sleep with a man.
This is for the women who love blindly, only to discover that some other woman, in some other place with some other quality you’ll never possess, is the better choice. Because she puts out. Because her tits are bigger. Because she wears more makeup. Because she’s more experienced. Because she has no interest in commitment. Because she whispered something in his ear that you haven’t done. This is also for that same other woman, years down the road, who wonders why men don’t respect her.
This is for my grandfather – a thank you for being the only man I can think of who knew what it truly meant to be a good man. I just wish I had the chance to get to know him. This is for the men, however few of you, that sat here reading this entire thing as you nodded your head. Never change. EVER.
Men are going to call you uptight. They’re going to call you intimidating. Let them. They can’t handle honesty and integrity in full doses all at once. But watch and laugh as they complain about not finding a good woman.
And just like that, this sick cycle repeats.
You’ll find that most of your male friends will stay quiet when you express your grievances or when you’re at your worst/best. They won’t stand up for you nor will they come to your defense when you’re being objectified. This is called the “Bro Code.” This is how you’ll find out who they really are. This is when you question their ethics, their parents, their true motives. What you don’t expect, however, is how much it stings.
Finally, this is for you. The beautiful woman reading this who is so fucking sick of the hypersexualized society we live in. It’s not about religion but about morals. Walk with your head held high. Everything is within reach and you don’t need to shed your clothes to achieve it. There’s no need to share any part of yourself with anyone who is not deserving. You were not born to please a man. Always remember that. And when you finally do find the love of your dreams, savor it and never let it go. He was raised right. He knows that the true meaning of sexy is about strength, courage and authenticity.
Nice guys and girls only finish last because the crappy ones were all in a hurry. What’s left are the patient ones. The ones worth waiting for. Because while we may finish last, we always win the sweetest prize.
“Beside celebrities lacking in integrity
Holding up the status quo, instead of showing your kids
That they matter, who’re you gonna batter next?
Just keep hold of their necks and keep selling them sex”