Let me in.
I never knew those three words would play such a significant part in my life, especially after identifying with the song by FLOR of the same name; after associating that song with him for all these months.
Let me in.
That’s all I needed.
But as I stood outside, looking in at him, afraid to walk in and say hello, I didn’t feel welcome.
I waited for an answer. A sign. Anything to let me know that it was okay to show myself.
I was just trying to be respectful. I didn’t want to be a burden as I know there are others out there who aren’t as considerate. I didn’t want to be in the way.
His silence, yet again cut me deeper than anything I’ve ever felt.
But there’s one thing he succeeded in as the one who vacated my heart for the past 5 years was slowly erased,
Replaced with something I never ever wanted to feel ever again…but worse.
I keep doing this to myself.
So how are you supposed to feel when the one person who possesses everything you’ve ever wanted (and who you never thought existed) treats you like all the others?
Because if I’ve learned anything within the past 9 months, it’s that it’s easier to be numb than to go through any of this fully alive.
“Under my skin
Not much feels like this
So cold it burns
Soft spoken words
All I need is you to let me in”