Oh hey, it’s World Mental Health Day. Does that make you feel better about your own mental health? Me either.
I can’t believe I didn’t notice this until today, but I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed for the past 7 months. Whenever I feel like I’m just going to break, I go hide under the covers and hate myself. It sometimes takes hours for me to emerge back into the world. I’ve gained weight, thus making me hate my appearance and to top it all off, I have no desire to do anything about it because I’m so fucking tired. Sound familiar? I thought so. So why do we feel like we’re complaining or making others uncomfortable whenever we speak up about it? We’re not begging for sympathy, we’re just being honest.
I’m tired. I really am. I am fucking exhausted. I’m tired of wondering if all I am doing is taking me in circles. I’m tired of hiding my depressive side just to make others comfortable. I just want to go far away from everyone and recharge. But honestly, if I disappeared, it would not matter.
I appreciate days like World Mental Health Day since it brings awareness to the issues we all face on a daily basis but are afraid to speak up about, but does it accomplish anything? As far as I know, I still feel defective and having a special day to let everyone know that doesn’t make me feel any better.