Speak Now

The one I love wants to take care of me.
He wants to be there when I crumble and have nowhere to turn.
He wants to help me breathe through the madness.
My tears kill him as much as they rip me apart.

There were days when I never imagined finding this.
I still remember days of crying on my bedroom floor from a lifetime of despair.
I’d fall asleep, unsure of how I’d get through the next day.
But I did…and I did it on my own.

So while I’ve always wanted someone to scoop me up and take away my pain,
I can’t help but wonder:
What’s going to happen if one day, he’s not here to hold my hand?
If my constant ache will push him away.

Outside I’m collected but inside, I’m a hurricane.
He sees right through me and that both scares and comforts me.
I want to rely on the safety of his embrace,
But the unknown haunts me; that unsettling feeling of losing everything I’ve ever loved all over again.

I want to purge every unpleasant thought,
From those before him, from myself.
I want to trust in the fact that I finally found the kind of love I’ve always wished for.
I want to let go. I want to believe.

I want him to take away my pain,
But I don’t want to lay my burden down on someone else.
Heavy on my chest, heavy on his heart.
I don’t want my darkness to rip us apart.

I’m a sensitive soul in an unkind world.
I’m a hopeless romantic in a casual society,
Ripped apart for who I am,
Apologizing for existing.

But I’m his now,
And my soul is tired.
So letting go seems right,
Despite how my lips tremble and my voice shakes.

I’m his now.
I’m safe now.
I’m free now.
I’ll speak now.

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